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21,070 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago
guys on tumblr: all I want to do is find a girl and treat her right
boys that I know: first i park muh car then i fuck yo bitch

85,968 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago
police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude

468,276 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

(Source: gravelore)


437,945 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

6,337 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

if a gay guy complements a girl does he say “no hetero” afterwards?


140,240 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

patkirch:

imagine if you went to a restaurant and when they said “can i take your order” you just said “no” and walked out

(Source: rejecting)


72,845 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago
carly: i threw a wish in the well
me: how do you throw a wish in---
carly: don't ask me i'll never tell
me: ok

59,007 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago
Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?
Me: 10

447,986 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

Warning: this blog will give you a laugh-attack.

Warning: this blog will give you a laugh-attack.


6,089 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

114,800 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

adriofthedead:

astrobit:

what if you woke up one day and your butthole was gone oh my god

I wouldn’t give a shit

(Source: tigerstar)


40,408 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

28,879 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

(Source: horanfer)


58,801 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago

6,621 notes ∞ Reblog 1 year ago
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